I know I normally chat about lifestyle, home, and crafty projects here, but today I wanted to talk about something that a lot of you commented on when I did a recent IGTV episode…Being an extroverted introvert. I think a lot of creatives and bloggers are (It’s sometimes also referred to as an ambivert, you can see my original IGTV video below, or skip ahead to the rest of the video.).
Growing up, I always had that slight kind of like I never fit in ,and I never felt like I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was really happy to be in a group of people and go to parties…for a little while. Then I wanted to go home and be alone with my books. I wanted to chime into conversations and be included, but I felt like the things that came out of my mouth were super socially awkward, and then I wondered if it was because I said the wrong thing all of the time. I was bullied in junior high and high school, so that added to the feelings of awkwardness, and being out of place. I thought I was a total weirdo.
I knew felt reserved, but I didn’t really fit into the mold of a typical introvert. I loved performing, and I could be on stage for hours singing in front of people in a musical. I would also have these amazingly deep, intense friendships, where we talked all night… but put me in a party with a room full of people, and after about an hour, I was ready to run out the door. I would feel drained after a while. It did help me stay out of trouble in high school, because the idea of going to a late night kegger with loud music was the last thing on my mind.
Now as an adult, I love speaking and teaching workshops and classes, and engaging with people, but I recognize I need time after to decompress after. I don’t mind being by myself either. Even when I’m alone, I never feel lonely. I enjoy the solitude and the time to do my thing.
When I discovered that I am probably classified as what’s called an extroverted introvert, I felt relieved, it explained everything!
You can read this article about it here on Buzzfeed. It was kind of a mind-blowing moment for me. Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t quite the weirdo I thought I was, and that there were lots of other people that feel the same way I do! I knew there was a reason I loved teaching, but really loved my alone time. I love going to gatherings such as conferences, but like to retreat early.
While I can still sometimes feel socially awkward in a room, it’s something that I don’t hang up on anymore either and get over myself. I have enough confidence (some of that has come with age too) that I just laugh at what a dork I am, which allows me to relax and have fun being silly.
I also understand I need more self-care with recharge time. When I have a speaking engagement, I do a lot of mental prep, and reward myself with alone time. Having the explanation made it all fall into place, and made me give myself a little grace in certain things, and realized I need to push myself in others that go against the innate introverted part, and the feelings where I don’t quite fit in.
Here’s the thing, we are all good exactly as we are, there’s no one right way to be: introvert, extrovert or ambivert, because it makes the world go round. It’s good that we aren’t all the same. How boring of a world would that be? And, because I need someone else to stay late, so it’s not weird that I leave early. 🙂
So what do you think? Are you an extrovert, and introvert or an ambivert?